Emily Post's Etiquette

I thought that reading a book on etiquette would be cool and entertaining. Like guides on (writing) style. Instead, it's pages upon pages of useless drivel (place settings should only contain three of any utensil type), common sense (skiing can be dangerous!), or abhorrently conservative values (women's name cards should read "Mrs. [insert husband's name here]" — makes you want to wretch too, eh?).

I'm so glad most of us have parents to raise us right, and teasing from elementary school classmates when they don't.

CONSUMED: a Madmen-themed fondue party; Bed-Stuy (Brooklyn)